so? notebooks curator's blog & online shop

My handle “so” comes from Miles Davis’ song “So What”.
I heard this song for the first time while learning about jazz since I picked up the alto saxophone as a hobby, therefore, it’s not so long time ago.
However, my “so-what trait” has been ingrained in my personality for a much longer period of time.

When I was a kid, we had a series of kidnapping cases in my hometown and they said that the trick the kidnapper employed was to offer a ride to a kid explaining that his/her parent(s) got injured in a traffic accident and hospitalized.
I was talking about this with my mother, and she gave me a very clear and reasonable instruction as to how I should deal with such a nasty kidnapper.
She said,
“Just say ‘so what?’ if someone tries to take you to the hospital for such a reason. Why? Because there’s nothing you can do about it. If I’m dead, you cannot bring me back to life. So, just give it up. If I’m injured, all I need is a good doctor, not you. So, just leave it to the doctor and stay away. Either way, there’s no point in your riding in the car of the kidnapper. You understand?”

Being a super-obedient duper-good girl who believed that mother knew everything, I gazed at her in awe, round-eyed, and said,
“Got it! I will say ‘so what?’ to the nasty kidnapper!”

Unfortunately, I had no chance to execute this plan because nobody offered me a ride to the hospital where my parent(s) may be receiving medical treatment.
However, this seed of “so-what” mindset has taken root in my character, which, looking back, has been making my life easier on a variety of aspects; it has helped me develop a habit of distinguishing what matters from what doesn’t, what is controllable from what is not, and focusing on controllable things that matter.

When I went back to my hometown the other day, I found this sprout from the carrot head in the house where currently only my mother lives.
I liked the lively vibes it created and started taking photos. Then, mother said,
“It’s the best time of its life now. It will wither away shortly once it exhausts the nutrition in the carrot because it’s rootless.”

I looked at the sprout again and had a big smile, with a compelling feeling of admiration.
I have absolutely no idea if it knows or not that it has a limited lifetime(like we do), but just look at this detached demeanor.
It appears to manifest its attitude toward life, such as:
“I am rootless, my life will come to an end sooner or later.
So what? It doesn’t interest me.
The point is, I am programmed to keep choosing to live every single second of my life.
I accept it, and just do what I am supposed to do, that is, to grow.”



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